Quotes of the Day: August 2010

This is a new section I decided to add since we all know that sometimes the best one liners come in retail pharmacy!

Patient: What's that do? (pointing to image below)

Patient: I didn't have this transferred I had it filled at another pharmacy!

Patient: What does script 2 of 2 mean?

Me: It means the ER gave you two prescriptions. Do you have the other?

Patient: No I just want the tramadol not the antibiotic.

Me: I never said you had an antiobiotic, ma'am.

Patient: Well they only gave me one prescription!

Patient: Where do you find bed bugs? In bed?

Patient: You have a drive thru? That's just like McDonalds!

Me: Ya, except we don't spill your pills all over your bag.

Patient: Do you have Plan B?

Me: Yes we do and it's around $55.

Patient: Thank God, my mom got me this gift card!

Me: Ma'am, we need to call your physician to clarify your prescription.

Patient: Which doctor are you calling over there?

Me: Dr. Phuc Nguyen (last name said Win, no joke this is a REAL name!)

Patient: What did you say to me?

Patient: Which of these makes it, uh, smoother? (spoken in broken English, and simulating a penis and vagina with his hands)

Me: Well I think the medicine for your wife's yeast infection will help and so will the rash cream for you.

Patient: Really?

Me: Sir, may I have your date of birth?

Patient (who's in the clergy): Hell no! I don't want one of these cougars knowing my age! (while staring at the woman behind him)

Me: Well can I check your address?

Patient gives address

Me: Well, now they know where you live.

Patient: Aw damn! Now I gotta go stock up on my cougar killing ammo! Where's your condoms?

Lastly...

Patient: Thanks for your time/help!

Despite all the funny things that happen in retail, its all the people its the people who appreciate what I do that make me glad I worked my butt off to be come a pharmacist!